Today is the exact day that I landed on these shores, four years ago to set up a new life in a new country. Today marks another year (the second consecutive year) that I have not returned to England. I feel some significant shift are starting – inevitable I guess, that marks the fact that we have chosen this as home, not just an extended holiday.
Lots more has change in the Ryding world. I have numerous people who continually say how brave we are. I just want to say dreams don’t come easy. Dreams take lots of guts, determination and the willingness to continually throw yourself off a cliff into the unknown. I feel like we do this continually, and team Ryding is just getting stronger and stronger as a result.
but, the longer we are here the less I feel connected with home. I now look at £ and convert it back to $ to understand value. I have to seek out European news, I no longer feel up to date with things. I have no clue what the feeling is now in England as they prepare for BREXIT, I have been away too long to know. I feel like I expect my mum felt living in England. She always called herself Irish, I will always call myself English. But I don’t feel anywhere as connected and up to date as I once did. Yet, I don’t feel kiwi either.
Some of the things that have happened this year include:
- My second year full time self employed.
- Second year being completely out of sport.
- First year as a company owner and Director as Ryding2Health became incorporated in July 2016. Proud but also more terrifying than words can possibly describe
- First time ever GST (VAT) registered.
- One of my staff has been employed by me for a whole year. What a milestone for the both of us!
- Team Ryding2Health Limited grew by another staff member and moved into a new premises. This is quite simply the most stressful and terrifying thing I have ever done in my life. MORE stressful than emigration. Yes. I mean that truthfully.
- The start of the scary knee road: diagnosis terminal. New mind set required here.
This anniversary also marks the actual time that Mum found out she had cancer. But didn’t tell me for fear of worrying me for a further 6 weeks. The anniversary of the day we lost her comes up in 9 weeks time, so these two dates are always going to be interlaced with happiness and sadness combined.
I’m going to reflect on what I put last year in the year 3 summary.
I would still agree. I love being my own boss but I don’t always love how hard the road is, how lonely it is and how challenging it is. The incorporation of the company took it to a whole new level that quite frankly I simply was not prepared for at all. It would be really easy to just trot off and get a job working for someone else and remove all the stress right away. But the stress would be replaced with dissatisfaction. I am not a quitter. But I have to be honest this journey this year with Ryding2Health is challenging me to my absolute limits.
That is where Southland come in. I have some truly amazing friends and staff who I quite simply couldn’t do without right now. Times like this is where Southland really comes into its own and we have experienced this unbridled support from our Southland family a few times in the past too. The people here are truly magical and made of stuff rarely found elsewhere in the world. It often makes up for the immense heartache I feel from my family being so very far away. telephone calls and skype are all well and good but sometimes, just sometimes, it isn’t quite enough, you know?
I am sure that in a few months when the move stress has eased I will feel better. Happiness is still there, I love my job and I love my clients but it is sometimes too easy to get wrapped up in the stress of other stuff and forget the wonderful things around you and what you have done so far and are still doing. I really do need to make more effort here. I got a diary at the start of this year and there is a box on each page to write ‘great things that happened this week’. This is really helping me focus and remember at the moment. If anyone ever tells you starting and running a business is easy, they are liars.
I have just in the last few weeks started to achieve the magical 40 hours of work (finally!). this doesn’t always happen, but it happens much more than it ever has in the last two years. I also mostly manage a lunch break and go for a walk along the river at least once a week. (The river walkway is now really close to work, which is a bonus!).
I constantly keep telling myself this quote. Because trust me, I am so far out of my comfort zone at the moment I can’t see the island any more, never mind the shore!
This magical land
We do as much as we can, get out and appreciate our amazing beautiful country. We visit the beach every weekend, we go tramping when my knee will allow, go camping when there is a public holiday coming up. We take part in local events, (The Ultimate Waterman was here last weekend, I hadn’t heard if it either till now!)
The knee will be an increasing challenge and if owning a business was easy everyone would do it. I am alive, I am breathing, I am healthy and well. I have a great support team helping me. I must remember this and live each day to the full with happiness and hope.
Next years goals
I achieved last years: I now get minimum wage and don’t work every weekend. However, minimum wage isn’t a wage a managing Director should be getting, so I am hoping it will be a little higher than that by the end of this next year.